


Merry Fuckin' Christmas

by AssvengersArsemble



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Christmas, Christmas Fluff, Domestic Avengers, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-09
Updated: 2014-12-09
Packaged: 2018-02-28 20:24:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,663
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2745791
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AssvengersArsemble/pseuds/AssvengersArsemble
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Steve Rogers buys his boyfriends a set of matching Christmas sweaters, he had no idea the effect of garish holiday attire with a curse word on it would have.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Merry Fuckin' Christmas

The Avengers had only had one Christmas together. The Christmas before they all officially moved into Stark Tower was typically marred for Tony by a supervillain who had kidnapped the president and turned Pepper Potts into a human bomb. You know, the kind of issues most people have at Christmas.

The year after that, with most of the Avengers having taken to living at the tower on a more permanent basis, Steve Rogers goes all out. 

Tony Stark awakens at 2pm on December 1st and groans as he plods to the communal balcony floor, barely dressed in a baggy band t-shirt and sweatpants (the in-look for every scientific genius, Tony insists to Clint as he gets side-eyed in the hall), where he sees Steve and Sam decorating a very oversized Christmas tree. Not that Tony can judge, he typically goes for bigger is better as well. 

Sam is equipped in his brand new, all-singing-all-dancing-Stark-upgraded Falcon wings to get tinsel that winds all the way to the top of the tree. Steve is using a good old fashioned ladder (where did he even get one in Stark tower, Tony thinks to himself, he typically uses Iron Man boots to do anything that required reaching, including but not limited to changing light bulbs.)

“Takin’ your time there, Tony?” Sam comments as he stops to watch Tony standing silently in the doorway observing.

“I was taking a moment to come up with a suitably scathing remark, but then I realised it’s December the first and don’t know why I need anything beyond that.”

“And here I thought your wit came to you straight away,” Sam smirks.

“We can’t all be natural comedians like you, Robin,” Tony looks to Steve, currently putting some very festive baubles up on the tree, the scientist notices pretty quickly that there’s a theme emerging, little symbols that seem to represent each of the Avengers and he smiles. How’s he supposed to be mad at Captain America decorating a Christmas tree with decorations representing his friends? God the whole sentimentality of it made Tony’s head hurt. In a good way, of course. But also in a drank too much and fell asleep at 5am way.

“Sorry I didn’t tell you beforehand, but I thought it’d be a nice surprise,” Steve says apologetically as he descends from the ladder.

“Sure is….surprising,” Tony replies, heading for the coffee machine.

Unsurprisingly though, the rest of the month Steve dedicates his time to spreading the festive spirit, both in and out of the Captain America costume. Buying and donating as much as he can to give people the type of Christmas he could only dream about as a child, working in soup kitchens, visiting kids who were going to spend Christmas in hospital all decked out as Captain America. Tony wondered how he had time for it all, as well as Avengers work in between. On Christmas day, after Steve declaring no one had to buy him anything (though of course they did anyway), had bought the most thoughtful presents he could get for everyone, along with personalised little sketches. 

Tony had to sit back and take it in for a while, he’d just been spoilt on Christmas Day by Captain America.

“Next year, let’s do a secret Santa. You’re all draining my bank account and I’m sure I’m gonna run out of space for all this crap,” Clint grins, as they settle in front of the biggest screen in Stark tower to watch some obscure 30s Christmas film that Steve had recommended and Tony “painstakingly” searched for (well Jarvis did), then Home Alone (as demanded by Clint and Tony) and a horror movie that Natasha insisted on (and she revelled in the looks of utter terror on the faces of the people many regarded as some of the bravest in the world). 

The night culminates with most of the Avengers asleep in the communal living area, to the sound of Steve's damn Christmas playlist that has been looping almost non-stop through the communal areas of the tower’s speaker system for 25 days. 

This year Tony expects more of the same but with an extra seat at the table for Bucky.

oOo

Tony wakes up beside Bucky, it’s not quite 2pm yet though, so better than last year. A nudge-kick to the legs and a “Wake up, Bucks, Christmas is here, it’s time to spread some festive cheer!” earns him a metallic middle finger. Tony decides to let sleeping Avengers lie and go to the communal room on his own.

He had already accounted for the fact Steve would already be up and decorating. 

Or not. There’s not a single decoration up. No tree, no tinsel, not one decoration.

The music was playing though, which was a good sign. 

"Hey, Saint Nick, where's the decor?" Tony questions as he enters the kitchen and sees Steve reading a newspaper. 

"Waiting to be put up, I was waiting for you and Bucky to get up and we could do it together. You know, a boyfriends thing."

"Steve, that is so disgustingly sentimental, I'm choking on your gross sentimentality," Tony announces dramatically as he pours coffee. 

"I thought we could've done it earlier and gone out for lunch," Steve continues, standing to wrap his arms around Tony's waist. 

"Earlier? Wow. First of all, Steve, this is the time normal people get out of bed-"

"It is 1 in the afternoon-"

"Like I said, normal people time," Tony grins up at him. 

"You used to be a CEO," Steve groans. 

"We can still go for lunch?" Tony offers, "just gotta wake the yawniest assassin this side of the time Natasha watched those boring old movies with you."

"You didn't get him out of bed?"

"No, Steve, because I am a good boyfriend who doesn't make their boyfriend get up early-"

"We established it is not early-" Tony rolls his eyes. 

"Okay, fine, I'll wake him up."

oOo

Steve decides to go shopping while he waits for Tony and Bucky to be ready to go out, well the waiting will be almost exclusively for Tony. Going out for Bucky usually involves deodorant, some jeans, a shirt and jacket, usually with a slightly obscuring hat and takes him around twenty minutes. Tony managed to take far over an hour and Steve wasn't sure why. Perhaps because every five minutes he stopped to check a phone or tablet or any monitor.

While out be spots a set of three Christmas sweaters with the most garish red and green pattern and printed in big white writing "MERRY" "FUCKIN" "CHRISTMAS". 

They're obviously perfect for himself, Tony and Bucky, and Steve's gleeful to see something all three can share rather than the typical couple sweaters. 

He wasn't quite prepared for the conflict they cause.

oOo

Bucky and Tony's faces light up when they see the hideous sweaters and straight away both zone in for the centre.

“I want the ‘fuckin’ sweater,” Bucky demands.

“Mind your language, Bucky,” Clint laughs, sitting across the room with Natasha, Bruce, Thor and Sam.

“I think I should have the fucking ‘fuckin’ sweater.”

“Tony,” Bucky near-growls, narrowing his eyes as Tony picks up the sweater and gives it a small shake.

“When did you get the dibs on curse words, Bucky?”

“You can take turns.”

The two men either did not hear or opted not to acknowledge Steve’s comment, and Tony sets about pulling the red, green and white monstrosity over his head.

“No,” Bucky grunts, grasping at the ends of the sleeves.

“Bucky.”

“Tony.”

“But come on, Bucky, you’re so merry!” Tony half-squawks.

“You are two grown men, arguing over a...frankly a very ugly sweater,” an exasperated Steve chastises, as he pulls the sweater from the pair’s grip.

Bucky and Tony exchange glances. “Yes?” they answer in unison.

Steve drops the sweater with the other two and goes to make lunch, coming to the conclusion it’s better to dine in.

oOo

He wasn’t sure what he expected upon his return to tell everyone there was lunch in the kitchen, but it wasn’t this.

It wasn’t Bucky and Tony having wedged themselves into a garish Christmas sweater that says “FUCKIN” together. Each with one arm out a sleeve, the sweater’s neck hole stretched beyond repair (and return policy.)

For a second there is absolutely no word, no phrase, no expression that Steve thinks can really challenge this with.

So he settles with: “Why?”

“We couldn’t decide and no one was willing to have a democratic vote on sweater ownership,” Tony grins.

He’s enjoying this, Steve can tell. He is absolutely enjoying this ridiculous display. Bucky looked less exuberant over shared sweater custody, though he didn’t seem to be actively objecting it.

Steve looks between the faces of his sweater sharing boyfriends. 

“So this is interesting,” Natasha chimes in, breaking the silence as Steve covers his mouth and starts trying to stifle a laugh.

He fails and walks away, back into the kitchen where Bruce is perched on a stool at the breakfast bar.

“‘Patience of a saint’ springs to mind when you deal with Tony and James,” Bruce smiles at him and nibbles at a bowl of the chicken salad Steve had prepared.

“Tell me about it.”

oOo

It took only twenty minutes from a small argument over a Christmas sweater with a curse word on it to become what was known as Operation Sweater-Share.

Operation Sweater-Share (a term coined by Tony) came into effect from the moment Clint said: “You two won’t last an hour in that sweater together.”

“Is that a challenge?” Bucky asks.

“Yeah,” the archer snorts, picking up the coffee pot to drink from, which is met with a firm glare from Sam and he reaches for a mug instead.

“You are gonna eat your words, Clint,” Tony shoots back with a grin.

It’s four hours later now, in which time all of the Avengers had been roped into putting up the Christmas decorations, and Steve’s wondering why they’re keeping it up. Most likely just to prove Clint as wrong as possible? Maybe an endurance test? Either way it seemed to be going well somehow. He began to think that while it all came from an argument, the pair were actually enjoying the time spent in the sweater.

oOo

After dinner, it was Tony’s night in charge of the group dining so naturally he ordered pizza, Sam insists on a group photo in front of the tree, after of course, presenting the rest of the sweaters that Steve bought.

“One for each of the team,” Steve says brightly.

“Oh, Steve, you...shouldn’t have,” Bruce says with a grimace at his monstrosity of a sweater.

Natasha accepts hers graciously (because it says “Merry Christmas, ya filthy animal”), Thor is delighted with Steve’s “thoughtful gift”, Sam and Clint groan at their bird themed sweaters to which Steve responds with a nonchalant “oh I didn’t notice” and a smug grin.

Sam sets up a camera with a timer (“I could get Jarvis to take it, why be so low-tech?” Tony groans) and everyone stands in a row: Thor, Bruce, Steve, Tony and Bucky in the sweater together, Sam, Natasha then Clint (bemoaning how he’s stuck at the edge the picture.)

After letting it take a few pictures they go through them together. Natasha has an arm around Sam and Clint, the first two smiling while Clint makes duck faces. Thor is grinning with a hand on Bruce’s shoulder while Bruce stands with a modest slightly embarrassed-looking smile. Steve has an arm stretched behind Bucky and Tony, holding them close to himself and Bucky and Tony, well they’re making out in every single picture, Steve smiling obliviously beside them.

“Christmas fuckin,” Steve raises an eyebrow as he reads the order of the terrible sweaters.

“Later, Steve,” Tony snorts, “We’ll even keep the sweater on.”

“TMI,” Clint jokes with his most disgusted tone.

“I wasn’t aware you are 13 years old, Clint,” Natasha laughs.

“I’m actually just a very mature looking and wise fifteen year old, Nat, I’m sorry that we’ve been friends so long and never told you my birthdate.”

Natasha makes a small amused snort and Tony puts a movie on.

oOo

After one in the morning, when the movies Tony had set up finishes, Steve stands to go to bed. The Avengers had all dissipated throughout the movies, bar Steve and his boyfriends.

“I think its about time to sl--” he stops and smiles incredulously at Tony and Bucky.

There they were. Asleep in the sweater. Tony pressed up to Bucky’s chest with a leg slung over the assassin’s lap and face tucked into the crook of Bucky’s neck. A glorious patch of dribble marking Bucky’s shirt, while Bucky has his head leaning against Tony’s. His lips pursed together in a serious line.

“Jarvis?”

“Yes, Captain?”

“Take some pictures and send them to my phone.”

“Done, sir. Though I may say that Mister Stark will not approve.”

“I know, Jarvis,” Steve grins and nudges Bucky’s legs until the latter lets out a groan as he wakes up.

“Why..” Bucky glares in Steve’s direction.

“Because even though I could carry you both, with ease, I don’t want to bump you into anything and it’ll be hard to balance you while you’re both still in that sweater.”

“Laziness, Stevie,” Bucky says with a sleepy grin, still managing to lift Tony like he weighs no more than a small teddy bear as he stands up.

“Tony’s room is nearest,” Steve says with a smile and kisses Bucky’s cheek, “I’ll carry him, if you want. Unless you’re too into the sweater sharing thing you’ve got going on.”

“This was his idea,” Bucky responds indignantly.

“Buck, you wouldn’t have put up with it for almost half a day if you weren’t having some fun with it,” he smiles and Bucky rolls his eyes. 

By the time they get to Tony’s room, the scientist is just awake enough to kick off his jeans and claim prime position in the bed, right down the middle so he has Steve and Bucky on either side. Not that others are complaining, Bucky usually gets too warm in the middle and Steve isn’t fussy.

They’re barely in the bed for twenty minutes before Bucky is asleep with Steve beginning to drift off slightly.

Until, "Steve?"

"Yeah?" Steve looks down at the man sandwiched between himself and Bucky, pressed up tightly to Steve's chest with an arm draped over the captain's side. 

"This is nice, you know, this is good," he's almost whispering, trying not to wake Bucky, Steve assumes. 

Steve nods and waits for him to elaborate. 

"I'm just...grateful. This means a lot to me. You and Bucky mean a lot to me."

"Careful, Tony, you might start talking about love next," Steve jibs playfully. 

"You already know that I do. I don't need to say it to you. Maybe I should more to him, but you know. Anyway, I just wanted to say I'm grateful for this," Tony raises his arm and makes a vague gesture under the duvet that Steve guesses is meant to represent Tony's relationship with himself and Bucky, "And for the family we made here with the others. Wouldn’t have Bucky here without you. I probably wouldn’t be here at all without you, you’ve saved me so many times. You’re...you’re as good as they come, Steve. So is Bucky too. Even if he does try to lay claim to a sweater that is clearly more suited to me."

Bucky grunts, “Your whispering is bullshit.”

All Steve can really do in response is smile. There's no words that he can quite string together that he thinks would mean as much as he feels, so he pulls Bucky (and Tony with him) a little closer. 

"Night, Tony. Night, Bucky," Steve sighs softly before adding "I am going to burn that sweater in the morning though."

The other two men grunt. "Goodnight, killjoy."

**Author's Note:**

> this is the first fic i've properly written in forever because there needs to be more stevebuckytony being dorky loser boyfriends.


End file.
